It’s been almost a year – to the day – since my last post.
After posting seven times in two months, I have posted exactly zero times in eleven months. The break was both intentional and unintentional.
Blogging is something that is easy to push down the to-do list, and over the past several months, I’ve had other (more important) projects that have dominated my time.
I have spent more time with teens. I have taught more classes – sometimes as often as three times per week. I have gotten closer to finishing my Masters in Divinity. By the time Christmas gets here, I will only have four classes left. I ran a triathlon. We had a baby (who you need to see, if you haven’t yet).
Don’t worry, I have pictures.
Be honest, you started singing Vanilla Ice to yourself after seeing that last picture. If you didn’t, it’s time to stop, collaborate, and listen….
There’s another reason I stopped writing – and one that I need to confess.
I had the wrong motivation.
It’s not easy to admit, but I was writing for the wrong reasons. I was writing because I wanted to be read. Nobody likes to admit that they cared about others’ opinions, but I did. I would check the stats on my blog, and often I would get discouraged because they were lower than I expected. I had a blog post that did really well, and it wrecked my standards going forward. I have a sick and twisted mind, I know.
One of my favorite quotes, spoken originally by Robin Sharma, goes like this: “The mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.” Over time, this quote has been re-adapted to fit many different circumstances (ex: “Money is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.”) I also like the way Jon Acuff put it – does data work for me, or do I work for the data?
When it came to my blogging, data was originally a servant, and then it became my master. The biggest problem was that blogging was something that I enjoyed. I like writing. Both of my parents are writers. My brother is starting to make a name for himself as a writer (check out his latest story here, but don’t expect to have dry eyes by the time you reach the end).
So, after a year off, I am back, with a different motivation. I’m not here to serve the data. I’m not here to put up numbers. To be quite frank, I’m not here for anybody besides myself. I’m not going to beat myself up if I go a few weeks or months without writing. I’m not going to check the data.
(Okay, I might check once or twice, just out of curiosity. After all, it does show up on the WordPress homepage. I’m not perfect!)
Still, even if I do occasionally check my stats, data is not my master anymore. My heart is in a different, much healthier place.
I like writing, so I’m going to write. I don’t know how often, or what about, or even if anybody will read. But that’s okay.
I’m here for me.
I’m here to have fun.
I’m here to write simply because I enjoy writing. And I’d love to take you on the journey with me.