Three Coaching Skills Everyone Can Learn

There are approximately 78 different ways to define the word “coaching.” So when you meet someone and hear they are a “coach,” it can be hard to know exactly what that means. 

What I have learned is, many people who say they are coaches are actually consultants, mentors, teachers, or trainers. While all of these styles of communication are helpful, they aren’t coaching. 

So, what is coaching? The ICF (International Coaching Federation) defines coaching as, “Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” 

I like to explain it this way - coaching is not content-based. Rather, it’s a conversation style. Coaches don’t have to be subject-matter experts, but they should be trained in facilitating conversations that help clients discover new awareness and design new actions. 

While it takes time and practice to truly master the art of coaching, anyone can utilize basic coaching skills to engage in deeper and more effective conversations. Here are three skills you can try out right away:

1. Listening Actively - Coaches are trained to listen for specific words and phrases that stand out, and to pay attention to shifts in emotion and body language. Noticing these details helps coaches make important observations about their client’s needs, values, and desires. Next time you’re having a conversation, listen for repeated words, powerful phrases, and any changes in the other person’s tone. You can even share these observations with the other person, and see if it creates any new learning.

2. Asking Powerful Questions - Coaching questions are not closed-ended questions, or questions with only one right answer. Rather, they are discovery questions, asked from a curious perspective, designed to help the client see a situation (and, ultimately, himself or herself) in a fresh light. Questions drive thinking, and powerful coaching questions can be a useful tool to help develop new thought patterns and connections.

3. Defining Success - In coaching, we call this “establishing the agreement.” This is when you ask the client what they would like to accomplish in the session, or what they would like to walk away with. When applied to other conversations, this can be an immediate game-changer. Next time you sit down in a meeting, try asking the question, “What do we need to accomplish today,” or “What does success look like in this area?” You’ll be surprised how much more productive your conversation can be once you acknowledge the desired outcome.

If you want to go beyond the basics, I encourage you to check out this guest blog post I wrote for Coach Approach Ministries on advanced coaching skills. No matter what techniques you choose to implement into your conversations, I’m confident you’ll notice an immediate impact and a tremendous difference for the people you’re leading, guiding, or developing.